What women need to know*                                                   November 15, 2004

*according to six North Texas comedians
By JENNIFER OKAMOTO / The Dallas Morning News

What do women need to know about men? We asked the long-running Fort Worth improv comedy troupe Four Day Weekend to spill 10 crucial facts. (They came up with 21, but this is a family newspaper.)

1: We will listen to you when you tell us all about your day if you'll just add some sex and violence to spice up your story.

2: Do you remember that romantic meal we told you we cooked ourselves? It was really a "Dinner for 2" meal we bought at Central Market.

3: When you ask us whether we noticed that beautiful woman we just walked by and we say no, the truth of the matter is we noticed her three blocks before she got to us. We've trained our eyes to look straight ahead and keep talking while you're walking with us.

4: Yes, it will actually kill us if we don't watch the Cowboys game.

5: We always marry cute. But you're hot and sexy to us.

6: Please don't tell our friends that we're sensitive. We'll get our ass kicked for it.

7: Our best friend whom you think is a disgusting pig is the funniest person we've ever met.

8: When we're in public and say, "Hey, don't you have a blouse like that girl?" We're really checking her out and think you may have busted us.

9: We really do know when bulk trash day is. We just say we don't.

10: If you've been talking for a while and we respond with a "That's crazy," it means we stopped listening some time ago.

Four Day Weekend performs every Friday and Saturday night at 7:30 and 10 at 312 Houston St. in Fort Worth. Call 817-226-4DAY or go to www.fourdayweekend.com.